A Sample of the Wayword Dictionary

By John "Birdman" Bryant


Appeal: An option in litigation for those whose verdict is unappealing.

Argument: The basic format of communication in the family.

Argumentative: Resisting the acceptance of your truth and wisdom.

Arid: Dry, as academic lectures or the wit that pokes fun at them.

Arresting: Something which makes you stop because it gives you a start.

Arrythmia: Irregular heartbeats; what happens when the heart is beat.

Artemis: Greek moon goddess, mother of Uranus.

Bill of Rights: Statutes of liberty.

Hiroshima A-bombing announcement: Fission accomplished.

Block voting: A type of voting usually done by blockheads.

Breast-implanted whore: Silicone chippie.

Bull market: A market driven by brokers who are full of bull and investors who will end up bare.

Christian soldier: A man who has received orders.

Country music: The kind of music that makes city folk head for the hills; a type of music where fiddles are used in place of violins, and which is punctuated with the twangs of guitars and noses.

Email: Free-mail; the opposite of fee-mail.

Heaven: Terra firmament.

Hoagie: The only object made which is unobjectionable if sub-standard.

Hole: The opposite of whole.

Hot air: How politicians keep their careers aloft.

Independence day: The day the divorce comes thru; the day you are no longer married to the girl that used to make your firecracker go off.

K-9: An animal especially popular with the group K-12.

LA: La-la land.

Letting off steam: Something that can get you into hot water.

Military orgy film: Hard-corps porn.

Nineteenth hole: For some golfers, a watering hole; for others, the wife, ie, the hole where golfers try to sink their clubs rather than their balls.

Plastic surgeon: An expert in waist disposal.

Seventh Heaven: Being on cloud nine.

Sex drive: The thing that drives people to distraction and distracts people when they drive.

Soul: Esprit de corpse.

Tee-shirt: A wearable message board often employed to express why the wearer is teed off.

Wetwork: A form of liquidation.

Whore: Pillow of the community.


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