The Liberal Bill of Wrongs

By John "Birdman" Bryant


In volume 1 of my book series Mortal Words I made a remark to the effect that I grew up hating conservatives, but learned to hate liberals all by myself. To this I would now add that, while conservatives are bad, liberals are ten times worse, mainly because they think they are ten times better. Thus when I was reading one of the local liberal columnists the other day, that famous line from Elizabeth Barrett Browning, "How do I love thee -- let me count the ways" came into my consciousness, almost instantly transmogrifying itself into "Liberals: How do I hate thee -- let me count the ways." So I did, and the following is the result.

Someone once said that if a man wasn't a liberal when he was young, then he had no heart; and if he wasn't a conservative when he was old, then he had no brain. Now while there is some truth to this statement, I would say that the problem with the liberal is that he does not have enuf brains to realize that the best way to have a heart is not to "help" people, but to let people help themselves. Thoreau expressed this sentiment by saying that if he saw someone coming toward him who wanted to do him a good turn, he would run for his life. Too bad the liberals have never been able to absorb the most important nugget of wisdom of one of their greatest heroes.

* * Back to the Home Page of John "Birdman" Bryant, the World's Most Controversial Author * *