- Control over others is what you're all
about. Never forget it, never admit it.
- Since you're in politics, you're
seeking legally coercive control, which in this country must be
developed gradually and kept properly disguised. Here's how you do
- Part I - The Basics
- (1) First and foremost, promote the
creed of altruism--the placing of others above self. Attack as selfish
any notion that people exist for their own well-being. If people hold
altruism as a moral ideal, they become pliable. They can be taxed and
shoved around for the sake of others.
- Altruism is as old as human life and
about as controversial as breathing. Most people think of it as
compassion, which is why it's the most potent weapon in your
- (2) To win elections, get the support
you need by expanding the power of government. This creates dependents
- The lion's share of the cost of
government is paid for by a minority of citizens. Ignore this group.
Instead, develop programs that favor the have-nots. When the haves
complain, accuse them of hogging the windfall life's lottery
bequeathed them. Always have some popular underclass at
hand--preferably children--to point to as beneficiaries of your
programs. This will remove your critics from any considerations of
- (3) Ignore the Constitution, except in
self-defense--in which case interpret it in a manner consistent with
- (4) In promoting your programs, take
advantage of the press and the country's education establishment.
Since you're building power for the sake of the people--altruism at
work--they'll gladly crusade for your cause and smear or ignore your
- (5) Always say that your government
intrusions increase liberty. It's the familiar "slavery is freedom"
ploy and part of the continuing struggle to replace antiquated
concepts. See, for example, the New Dealers' claims that they were
saving capitalism. For Independence Day, get pop culture stars to go
on national TV and sing praises to liberty--the enlightened liberty of
- In this manner, your programs will
- Part II - Holding onto power
- Now comes your biggest
challenge--managing the chaos you create.
- (1) Golden Rule: Never blame your
laws. See, for example, the California electricity crisis of 2001.
Pass more laws to fix things.
- (2) Just as you have automatic allies
in the media and education, so you have an automatic scapegoat:
business. When something goes wrong, make business pay.
- Businesses work for their own profit,
a practice altruism condemns. Though corporate CEOs try to persuade us
of their altruistic motives by saying they work for their
stockholders, or by distributing PR material replete with smiling
minorities, they fool no one. Any profit-making entity is unholy,
because all profit is flesh torn from the bodies of innocents. Seizing
profits for collective purposes is crucial to your survival and will
boost your moral reputation. Use the money to buy votes.
- When it's unwise to attack business
directly, assail the politicians that business supports. This way, you
avoid embarrassing the many corporations that give to statist causes
out of fear.
- (3) Remember, too, that since most of
your programs target specific groups, you always have class cards to
play. Take advantage of each group's loudmouths, who are eager to
castigate all opposition.
- (4) In the event you achieve short-run
success, promote it with taxpayer dollars and extol the virtue of
government action. When the short-run collapses, blame business and
demand more power and money to fix it.
- (5) In the freer days of our history,
it was necessary to manufacture crises. With today's level of
government power, normal policies are sufficient. If you need a
crisis, one will soon be forthcoming.
- (6) As a matter of style, always be
quick with a smile.
- Though you're at least a
multimillionaire, show the voters you're a regular guy at heart. When
necessary, eat at fast food joints, go to church, play touch football
with your family, take part in celebrity fundraisers--always, of
course, with the media close by.
- Answer all questions with a direct
answer, except those not previously arranged. And don't merely affirm
or deny--categorically affirm, unequivocally deny.
- One final note
- Voters have the habit of holding
politicians responsible for sagging economies. Though this is a
natural consequence of intervention, almost no one sees it that way.
Pundits will blame you for bad meddling, not for meddling per se. The
trick is to destroy capitalism while keeping the slaves rowing. If you
don't do it, your opponent will.
- The solution here is to intensify your
assault on the criminal conduct of the private sector while proposing
new legislation, being careful to say it's for the good of the country
or some unimpeachable subset thereof. In a crisis, the people expect
you to "do something," which for you means stepping up government
- George F. Smith is a freelance writer
with a special interest in liberty issues and screenwriting. A
certified Toastmaster, he welcomes the opportunity to speak to your
club or convention.