>>>>THE JOYS OF WORKING IN TECH SUPPORT >>>> >>>> >>>>"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" >>>>"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." >>>>"What sort of trouble?" >>>>"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went >>>>away." >>>>"Went away?" >>>>"They disappeared." >>>>"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" >>>>"Nothing." >>>>"Nothing?" >>>>"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." >>>>"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" >>>>"How do I tell?" >>>>"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" >>>>"What's a sea-prompt?" >>>>"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" >>>>"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." >>>>"Does your monitor have a power indicator?" >>>>"What's a monitor?" >>>>"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it >>>>have a little light that tells you when it's on?" >>>>"I don't know, I don't see it on now." >>>>"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power >>>>cord goes into it. Can you see that?" >>>>..."Yes, I think so." >>>>"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into >>>>the wall." >>>>..."Yes, it is." >>>>"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two >>>>cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" >>>>"No." >>>>"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the >>>>other cable." >>>>..."Okay, here it is." >>>>"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of >>>>your computer." >>>>"I can't reach." >>>>"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" >>>>"No." >>>>"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" >>>>"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--it's because it's >>>>dark." >>>>"Dark?" >>>>"Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in >>>>from the window." >>>>"Well, turn on the office light then." >>>>"I can't." >>>>"No? Why not?" >>>>"Because there's a power outage." >>>>"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do >>>>you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer >>>>came in?" >>>>"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." >>>>"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it >>>>was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it >>>>from." >>>>"Really? Is it that bad?" >>>>"Yes, I'm afraid it is." >>>>"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" >>>>"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer." ;)