Courting insanity

Thanks Samuel

 

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court
reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking
place. Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last one bro!
>
> Q: Are you sexually active?
> A: No, I just lie there.
>
> Q: What is your date of birth?
> A: July fifteenth.
> Q: What year?
> A: Every year.
>
> Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
> A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>
> Q: This myasthenia gravis does it affect your memory at all?
> A: Yes.
> Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> A: I forget.
> Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've
forgotten?
>
> Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
> A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> Q: How long has he lived with you?
> A: Forty-five years.
>
> Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
> morning?
> A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> Q: And why did that upset you?
> A: My name is Susan.
>
> Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know
> about it until the next morning?
>
> Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
>
> Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>
> Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes.
> Q: And what were you doing at that time?
>
> Q: She had three children, right?
> A: Yes.
> Q: How many were boys?
> A: None.
> Q: Were there any girls?
>
> Q: Can you describe the individual?
> A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> Q: Was this a male, or a female?
>
> Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A:
> All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>
> Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
> A: Oral.
>
> Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
> Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
> A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
>
> Here's the best one!!!
>
> Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
> A: No.
> Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
> A: No.
> Q: Did you check for breathing?
> A: No.
> Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
> A: No.
> Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
> A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere or working as some mindless IRS agent.

 

 

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