Aristophanes Returns With a New Version of the Frogs

Thanks Somebody

 

> Maybe exaggerated.....but funny.....
>
>
>
>
>
> Subject: Xenophobic abuse of the French
>
>
>
> "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these
>
> drawbacks it is a fine country.
>
>
>
> France has usually been governed by prostitutes." --Mark Twain
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one
>
> behind me." --General George S. Patton
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
Accordion."
>
> --Norman Schwartzkopf
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about
it." --Marge Simpson
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." --Jacques Chirac,
President of France
>
> "As far as France is concerned, you're right." --Rush Limbaugh
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is
>
> Sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --Regis Philbin
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
face for it." -- John McCain , U. S. Senator from Arizona
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into
Paris under a German flag."
>
> --David Letterman
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in
Canada." --Ted Nugent
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "War without France would be like ... World War II." --Unknown
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D. C. right now is one that
>
> says 'First Iraq, then France.'" --Tom Brokaw
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its
>
> National will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
>
> --Dennis Miller
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "It is important to remember that the French have always been there when
>
> they needed us." --Alan Kent
>
>
>
> -----------------------------
>
>
>
> "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an
>
> attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a
three-day
>
> supply of mistresses in the house." --Argus Hamilton
>
>
>
> ----------------------------
>
>
>
> "Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being
>
> advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot.
>
> Dropped once." --Rep. Roy Blunt, MO
>
>
>
> -----------------------------
>
>
>
> "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found
>
> truffles in Iraq " --Dennis Miller
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the
>
> city in WWII?
>
>
>
> A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?
>
>
>
> -----------------------------
>
> "Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It's not
>
> known, it's never been tried."---Rep. R. Blount, MO
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII?
>
> And that's because it was raining." --John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the
>
> London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to
>
> Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate.
>
> The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which
>
> destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively disabling their
military.
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
>
>
> French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
>
>
>
> (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003
>
>
>
> The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the
use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly
fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris,
caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group
of Czech tourists.
>

 

 

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