"...and the pilot even blew into the
with his mouth, but he passed out."
Truth is funnier than fiction
Note: This is the new Africa, not the
The following comes from various
1. The Cape Times (Cape Town, South
"I have promised to keep his identity confidential,' said Jack Maxim,
a spokeswoman for the Sandton Sun Hotel, Johannesburg, but I can confirm that he
is no longer in our employment". "We asked him to clean the lifts and he spent
four days on the job. When I asked him why, he replied: 'Well, there are forty
of them, two on each floor, and sometimes some of them aren't there'.
Eventually, we realised that he thought each floor had a different lift, and
he'd cleaned the same two twelve times. "We had to let him go. It seemed best
all round. I understand he is now working for GE Lighting."
2. The Star (Johannesburg, South
"The situation is absolutely under control," Transport Minister
Ephraem Magagula told the Swaziland parliament in Mbabane. "Our nation's
merchant navy is perfectly safe. We just don't know where it is, that's all."
Replying to an MP's question, Minister Magagula admitted that the landlocked
country had completely lost track of its only ship, the Swazimar: "We believe it
is in a sea somewhere. At one time, we sent a team of men to look for it, but
there was a problem with drink and They failed to find it, and so, technically,
yes, we've lost it a bit. But I categorically reject all suggestions of
incompetence on the part of this government. The Swazimar is a big ship
painted in the sort of nice bright colours you can see at night. Mark my words,
it will turn up. The right honourable gentleman opposite is a very naughty man,
and he will laugh on the other side of his face when my ship comes in."
3. The Standard (Kenya):
is all the fuss about?" Weseka Sambu asked a hastily convened news conference at
Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. "A technical hitch like this could have
happened anywhere in the world. You people are not patriots. You just want to
cause trouble." Sambu, a spokesman for Kenya Airways, was speaking after the
cancellation of a through flight from Kisumu, via Jomo Kenyatta, to Berlin: "The
forty-two passengers had boarded the plane ready for take-off, when the pilot
noticed one of the tyres was flat. Kenya Airways did not possess a spare tyre,
and unfortunately the airport nitrogen canister was empty. A passenger suggested
taking the tyre to a petrol station for inflation, but unluckily the jack had
gone missing so we couldn't get the wheel
off. Our engineers tried
heroically to reinflate the tyre with a bicycle pump, but had no luck, and the
pilot even blew into the valve with his mouth, but he passed out. "When I
announced that the flight had to be abandoned, one of the passengers, Mr Mutu,
suddenly struck me about the face with a life-jacket whistle and said we were a
national disgrace. I told him he was being ridiculous, and that there was to be
another flight in a fortnight. And, in the meantime, he would be able to enjoy
the scenery around Kisumu, albeit at his own
from this group, send an email
Your use of
Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.