Sent: Thursday, June 17, 2004 12:43 AM
Subject:
 
John Gerhardt
> >          
 STUPID INSTRUCTIONS     :-)
> >
> > In case you needed further proof that the human race
> > is doomed through
> > stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
> > consumer goods.
> >
> > On a Sears hairdryer --
> > Do not use while sleeping.
> > (Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my
> > hair).
> >
> > On a bag of Fritos --
> > You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
> > inside.
> > (the shoplifter special?)
> >
> > On a bar of Dial soap --
> > "Directions: Use like regular soap."
> > (and that would be how???....)
> >
> > On some Swanson frozen dinners --
> > "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
> > (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
> >
> > On Tesco's Tiram! isu dessert (printed on bottom) - "Do
> > not turn upside down."
> > (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
> >
> > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding --
> > "Product will be hot after heating."
> > (...and you thought????...)
> >
> > On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
> > "Do not iron clothes on body."
> > (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
> >
> > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
> > "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
> > this medication."
> > (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
> > accidents if we could
> > just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those
> > forklifts.)
> >
> > On Nytol Sleep Aid --
> > "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
> > (and...I'm taking this because???....)
> >
> > On most brands of Christmas lights --
> > "For indoor or outdoor use only."
> > (as opposed to...what)?
> >
> > On a Japanese food processor --
> > "Not to be used for the other use."
> > (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
> > curious.)
> >
> > On Sainsbury's peanuts --
> > "Warning: contains nuts."
> > (talk about a news flash)
> >
> > On an American Airlines packet of nuts --
> > "Instructions: Open packet, eat
> > nuts."
> > (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta? DUH!)
> >
> > On a child's Superman costume --
> > "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
> > (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for
> > this one.)
> >
> > On a Swedish Chain Saw --
> > "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
> > genitals." WHEW!! I sure hope not. GOD AWFUL!
! > > (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening
> > somewhere?)
> >
> > >
      :-)
>
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