* What is the difference between a Harley and a
Hoover? The position of the dirt bag.
* Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it.
* What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader.
* What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? Doughnuts.
* Why is air a lot like sex? Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
* Why is Chelsea Clinton so homely? Because Janet Reno is her real father.
* What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? 100 people who don't do dick.
* What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
* What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs.
* What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife.
* A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs? The blonde, because she's 18.
* What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
* Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.
* What's the Cuban National Anthem? "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"
* Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A different bar.
* Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
* What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.
* What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast? They're hiring.
* How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!
* Years ago...When 100 white men chased one black man, we called it the Ku Klux Klan; today they call it the PGA TOUR.
YOUR DONATION = OUR SURVIVAL!
Please contribute today - buy our books - and spread the word to all your friends!
* * * Back to the Home Page of John "Birdman" Bryant, the World's Most Controversial Author * * *