Little Billy Jokes

Thanks Jim S

 

> LITTLE BILLY ON ... GETTING OLDER
>
> Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on
> one candy bar after another.
> After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from
> him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't
> good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth,
> and make you fat."
> Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be
> 107 years old."
> "Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6
> candy bars at a time?"
> "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own
> f*****g business!!"
>
> LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY
> A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds
> sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how
> many will be left?"
> She calls on little BILLY.
> He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the
> first gunshot."
> The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I
> like your thinking."
>
> Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU.
> There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice
> cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the
> triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling
> down the top and sucking the cone. The third is
> biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is
> married?"
> The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well,
> I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and
> sucked the cone."
>
> To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer
> is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like
> your thinking."
>
>
************************************************************
>
> LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH:
> Little BILLY returns home from school and says he
> got an F in arithmetic.
> "Why?" asks the father."
> "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6,"
> replied BILLY.
> "But that's right!" says his dad.
> "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
> "What's the f*****g difference? " asks the father.
> "That's what I said!"
>
*************************************************************
>
> LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH:
> Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says,
> "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words,
> class. Does anybody have an example of a
> multi-syllable word?"
> BILLY says "Mas-tur-bate."
> Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY,
> that's a mouthful."
> Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking
> of a blowjob."
>
>
*************************************************************

EDUCATION AT ITS BEST

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body
part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

No one answered until Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be
asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and
they will go and tell the principal, and he'll fire you!"

With a sneer on her face, she sat back down. Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked
the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when
stimulated?"

Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is
she gonna get in big trouble!"

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part
that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued, "as
for you, young lady, I have three things to say:

(1) you have a dirty mind,

(2) you didn't read your homework, and

(3) one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."

 

* * * Back to the Home Page of John "Birdman" Bryant, the World's Most Controversial Author * * *