These are real notes written from parents in a Mississippi school

Spellings have been left  intact.

My son is under a doctor's care and  should not take P.E. today. Please
execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
32, and also the 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a  few days. Yesterday he fell out
of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by
veryclose veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side

Please excuse Ray Friday from school.  He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday.

He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe)  the shits.  [Words were crossed
out in the
( )'s]

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his
boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because  he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I
don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing  school yesterday. We forgot to get
the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it
was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent  yesterday. He had a cold and
could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent  yesterday. She was in bed with

Gloria was absent yesterday as she  was having a gangover.

Please excuse Brenda, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16 because she had a fever, sore throat,
headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore
throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached  all over. I
wasn't the best
either,sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her
father even got hot last  night.

"All generalizations are false, including this one". Mark Twain