----- Original Message ----- Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 12:37 PM
  Subject: a plea for a raise in salary


I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge
headfirst into everything I do. I do not get weekends or holidays
off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that
has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes
me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
The Penis


Dear Penis,
After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
reasons: You do not work eight hours straight. You fall asleep
after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the
management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are
often seen visiting other locations. You do not take initiative.
You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
you leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You
don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective clothing. You will retire well before you
are 65. You are unable to work double shifts. You sometimes leave
your designated work area before you have completed the assigned
task. And if that were not enough, you are constantly seen entering
and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management Team