Just imagine sitting in
traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Chicago folks DID hear
this on the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago. The DJs play a game where
they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The
DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with
someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random
yet highly personal questions.
The person is also asked to divulge the
name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their
partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the
prize.
One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of
Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing
I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:
DJ:
"Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of
'MateMatch'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
DJ:
"Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando, Florida if you
win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant:
"Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian:
"Yes."
DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're
what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank
you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only
please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work,
Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here,
Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at
work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian:
"She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Brian! Stay with me
here!"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy,
Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10
minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one
would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that
trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this
morning?"
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This
sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all
that great, but her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."
DJ:
"Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the
time."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen
table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the
previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks,I will put Brian on hold,
get this wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."
3
minutes of commercials follow.
DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah,
shall we?"
(touch tones.....ringing....)
Clerk:
"Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This
is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the
air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours
now."
Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while
now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers
away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of
'MateMatch'?"
Sarah: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian:
(laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up
to?"
Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be
completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will
ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers,
then the both of you will be off to Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us.
Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the Magic's game. The
whole deal. Get it Sarah?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ:
"Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God,
Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What
time?"
Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very
good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sarah: "12, 15
minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure
she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question,
Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you
ready?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have
it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did
you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so
much, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing with us
and..."
DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?
Sarah: "In
the ass....."
After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a
station break"