Getting Old: 1975 vs 2005

By Joe Vrecenar

 

> 1975: KEG
> 2005: EKG
>
> 1975: Acid rock
> 2005: Acid reflux
>
> 1975: Moving to California because it's cool
> 2005: Moving to Arizona because it's warm
>
>
> 1975: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
> 2005: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
>
> 1975: Seeds and stems
> 2005: Roughage
>
> 1975: Hoping for a BMW
> 2005: Hoping for a BM
>
> 1975: Going to a new, hip joint
> 2005: Receiving a new hip joint
>
> 1975: Rolling Stones
> 2005: Kidney Stones
>
> 1975: Being called into the principal's office
>
>
> 2005: Calling the principal's office
>
> 1975: Screw the system
> 2005: Upgrade the system
>
> 1975: Disco
> 2005: Costco
>
> 1975: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
> 2005: Children begging you to get their heads shaved
>
> 1975: Passing the drivers' test
> 2005: Passing the vision test
>
> 1975: Whatever
> 2005: Depends
>
> Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change
> things.. Each year the staff at Beloit
> College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a
> sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's
> list:
>
>
> The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born
> in 1987.
>
> They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
>
>
> Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
>
>
> Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
>
>
> The CD was introduced the year they were born.
>
>
> They have always had an answering machine.
>
>
> They have always had cable.
>
>
> They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
>
>
> Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight ! Show.
>
>
> Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
>
>
> They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
>
>
> They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
>
>
> They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
>
>
> They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk! a mile for a Camel", or
> "de plane, Boss, de plane".
>
>
> They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
>
>
> McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
>
>
> They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
>
>
> Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

 

 

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