Translating Men's & Women's English

Thanks Stepp and Robert E

 

> DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:
> 40-ish........................................49
> Adventurous...................................Slept with everyone
> Athletic......................................No tits
> Average looking...............................Moooo
> Beautiful.....................................Pathological liar
> Buxom.........................................Fat
> Emotionally Secure............................On medication
> Feminist......................................Fat
> Free spirit..................................Junkie
> Friendship first..............................Former slut
> New-Age.......................................Body hair in the wrong
> places
> Old-fashioned.................................No BJs
> Open-minded...................................Desperate
> Outgoing......................................Loud and Embarrassing
> Professional..................................Bitch
> Voluptuous....................................Very Fat
> Large frame..................................Hugely Fat
> Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker
>
> WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
> Yes = No
> No = Yes
> Maybe = No
> We need = I want
> I am sorry = you'll be sorry
> We need to talk = You're in trouble
> Sure, go ahead = You better not
> Do what you want = You will pay for this later
> I am not upset = Of course I am pissed, you moron!
> You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
>
> MEN'S ENGLISH:
> I am hungry = I am hungry
> I am sleepy = I am sleepy
> I am tired = I am tired
> Nice dress = Nice boobs!
> I love you = Let's have sex now
> I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
> May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
> Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
> Do you want to go to a movie?= I'd like to have sex with you
> Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

 

 

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