Author Unknown

There is nothing the matter with me.

I'm as healthy as I can be.

I have arthritis in both my knees

And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.

My pulse is weak, and my blood is thin

But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

Arch supports I have for my feet

Or I wouldn't be able to be on the street.

Sleep is denied me night after night,

But every morning I find I'm all right.

My memory is failing, my head's in a spin

But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.

The moral is this, as my tale I unfold,

That for you and me who are growing old,

It's better to say "I'm fine" with a grin

Than to let folks know the shape we are in.

How do I know that my youth is all spent?

Well, my "get up and go" just got up and went.

But I really don't mind when I think with a grin

Of all the grand places my "get up" has been.

Old age is golden, I've heard it said;

But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed

With my ears in the drawer my teeth in a cup,

My eyes on the table until I wake up.

Ere sleep overtakes me, I say to myself,

"Is there anything else I could lay on the shelf?"

When I was young my slippers were red,

I could kick my heals over my head

When I was older my slippers were blue,

But I still could dance the whole night through.

Now I am old, my slippers are black,

I walk to the store and puff my way back.

I get up each morning and dust off my wits

And pick up the paper and read the obits.

If my name is still missing, I know I'm not dead

So I fix me some breakfast and go back to bed.

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