I was throwing away some data disks and came across this one I received
in the Mid 90's. the author is viperfox. I lost contact with him in early
2000 . what cha think of this ??? I have lots more
1945- Rifles were made of wood and steel, shot a .30 caliber bullet and
killed the enemy.
Now- Rifles are made of plastic and aluminum, shoot a .22 caliber
bullet, and wound the enemy.
winning side used a
used a European 9mm.
Now- We use a European 9mm pistol. Nobody uses the .45.
1945- If you smoked, you had an ashtray on your desk.
Now- If you smoke, you are sent outside and are treated like a leper.
1945- If you said "damn", people knew you were annoyed and avoided you.
Now- If you say "damn" you better be talking about a hydroelectric plant.
1945- NCO's had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports.
Now- Everyone has an internet computer, and they wonder why no work is
1945- We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us of
Now- We put the real thing in the cockpit.
1945- Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would return alive.
Now- She is in the same foxhole, praying your condom worked.
1945- If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to
barracks to sleep it off.
Now- If you get drunk any time they slap you in rehab and ruin your
1945- You were taught to aim at your enemy and shoot him.
Now- You spray 500 bullets into the brush, don't hit anything, and
retreat because you are out of ammo.
1945- Canteens were made out of steel. You could heat coffee or hot
chocolate in them.
Now- Canteens are made of plastic. You can't heat anything in them and
they always taste like plastic.
1945- Officers were professional soldiers first. They commanded
Now- Officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a wedgie.
1945- They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.
Now- They collect our pee and analyze it.
1945- If you don't act right, the commander'll put you in the stockade
till you straighten up.
Now- If you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you
1945- Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their
Now- Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the
1945- You slept in a barracks, like a soldier.
Now- You sleep in a dormitory, like a college kid.
1945- You ate in a Mess Hall. It was free and you could have all the food
Now- You eat in a dining facility. Every slice of bread or pat of butter
costs, and you can only have one.
1945- We defeated powerful countries like
Now- We cant
1945- to relax, you went to the
Now- You go to the Community Center and can still play pool.
1945- If you wanted a beer and conversation you could go to the NCO or
Now- The beer will cost you $1.75, membership is forced, and someone is
watching how much you drink.
1945- You could buy quartermaster gas tax free because it was on a
Now- AAFES charges you the tax but pockets the money themselves because
it is on a military reservation.
1945-The BX/PX had bargains for GI's who didn't make much money.
Now- You can get better merchandise cheaper at Wal Mart.
1945- We could recognize the enemy by their Nazi helmets.
Now- We are wearing the Nazi helmets.
1945- An old Chief would sit in his office with a cigar in his mouth.
Now- He would be in less trouble if it was a penis.
1945- We called the enemy things like "Krauts" and "Japs" because we
didn't like them.
Now- We call the enemy "opposing forces" and "aggressors" so we don't
1945- Victory was declared when the enemy was dead and all his things
Now- Victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry.
1945- If you killed an enemy soldier, you could bring home his rifle as a
Now- If you bring home anything at all as a trophy you get a court
1945- A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
Now- A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.
1945- After the war, you could buy your own rifle off the government,
Now- You can't be trusted with your own rifle, and you'll be jailed if
you ever get one.
1945- Wars were planned and run by generals with lots of important
Now- Wars are planned and run by politicians with lots of important
1945- We knew we were fighting for freedom. The country was committed
Now- We don't know what we are fighting for. The government is
committed to Socialism.
1945- All you could think of was getting out and becoming a
Now- All you can think of is getting out and becoming a civilian again.
Subject: New military standards
In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military
services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic
of recruit training:
Marines-heads will be shaved.
Army-flat-tops for all recruits.
Navy-no haircut standard.
Air Force-complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny Jones show.
Marines-rise at 0500, train until 2000.
Army-rise at 0600, train until 1900.
Navy-rise at 0900, train until 1100, lunch till 1300, train till 1600.
Air Force-rise at 1000, breakfast in bed, lunch at 1200, nap at 1400,
training ceases at 1500.
Marines-Meals-Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.
Army-one hot meal, 2 MRE's.
Navy-3 hot meals.
Air Force-catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia
Childs, and Wolfgang Puck. All you can eat.
Army-4 hours a week.
Navy-2 days a week.
Air Force-for every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight
hours of leave and liberty.
Marines-will address all officers as "Sir" and refer to the rank of all
enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e. SGT. Smith).
Army-will address all officers as "Sir", unless they are friends, and
will call all enlisted personnel "Sarge."
Navy-will address all officers as Skipper, and all enlisted personnel
Air Force-all Air Force personnel shall address each other as "dude" or
Marines-medals & badges are awarded for acts of gallantry & bravery.
Army-medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade
thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.
Navy-will have ships' engineers make medals for them as needed.
Air Force-will be issued all medals as they will most likely be awarded
them at some point early in their careers.
Marines-work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field
Army-will wear it anytime, anywhere.
Navy-will not wear cammies, they do not camouflage you on a ship.
Captains will make every effort to TRY to explain this to your sailors.
Air Force-will defeat the purpose of camouflage by putting blue and
service chevrons and name tapes on them. They will also get newly
designed and personally tailored uniforms to replace the airline pilot
coats they have now.
Marines-all Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.
Army-doesn't matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first
Navy-nobody knows. Navy still trying figure out what all the SMC, BNC,
BSN, and all the other ratings things are.
Air Force-every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow
Them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.