Thank God for church ladies with word-processors. These sentences appeared in
church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).

 

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 The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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 The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."  The sermon tonight:
"Searching for Jesus."
 -------------------- ------ -----------------------------------
 Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
 ----------------------------------------------------------
 The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
conflict.
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 Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone
who is hard to love.
 Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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 Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
 ---------------------------------------------------------
 Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious
pleasure
 to the congregation.
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 For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
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 Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.  They need all the help
they can get.
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 The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing:
 "Break Forth Into Joy."
 ---------------------------------------------------------
 Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
 So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
 ---------------------------------------------------------
 At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
 Come early and listen to our choir practice.
 --------------------------------------- ------ ------------
 Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new
members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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 Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
 Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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 The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious hostility.
 -------------------------------------------------
 Potluck supper Sunday at
5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow..
 ------------------------------------------------ ---------
 The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
 They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
 ----------------------------------- ------ -----------------
 This evening at
7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the
Church.
 Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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 Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at
10 AM . All ladies are
invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
 ----------------------------------------------------------
 The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend
him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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 Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at
7 PM.  Please use the
back door.
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 The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at
7 PM.  The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
 ----------------------------------------------------------
 Weight Watchers will meet at
7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
 Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
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 The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
 slogan last Sunday : "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours".

 

 

 

 

 

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