What
do you call two Mexicans playing
basketball?
What
is a Yankee?
The
same as a quickie, but a guy can do it
alone.
What
is the difference between a Harley and a
Hoover ?
The
position of the dirt bag
Why
is divorce so expensive?
Because
it's worth it.
What
do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends
over?
Doughnuts
Why
is air a lot like sex?
Because
it's no big deal unless you're not getting
any.
What
do you call a smart blonde?
What
do attorneys use for birth control?
Their
personalities.
What's
the difference between a girlfriend and
wife?
10
years and 45 lbs
What's
the difference between a boyfriend and
husband?
What's
the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through
his chest with a sharp knife
Why
do men want to marry virgins?
They
can't stand criticism.
Why
is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
caring, and
good-looking?
Because
those men already have boyfriends.
What's
the difference between a new husband and a new
dog?
After
a year, the dog is still excited to see
you
Why
do men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
The
same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention
of driving.
Why
don't bunnies make noise when they have
sex?
Because
they have cotton balls.
What's
the difference between a porcupine and car filled with
lawyers?
A
porcupine has the pricks on the
outside.
What
did the blonde say when she found out she was
pregnant?
'Are
you sure it's mine?'
Why
does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace
will do that to you
Why
did OJ Simpson want to move to West
Virginia ?
Everyone
has the same DNA.
Why
do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car
only on Mondays, Wednesdays and
Fridays?
Because
on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses
it.
Where
does an Irish family go on vacation?
A
different bar.
Did
you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond
baby?
They
named him 'Sum Ting Wong'
What
would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than
the
other?
A
speech impediment
What's
the difference between a southern zoo and a northern
zoo?
A
southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of
the cage along with a recipe.
How
do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F
word?
Get
another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell
*BINGO*!
What's
the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale?