From: Amy Aremia [mailto:AAREMIA@nc.rr.com]
Sent: Monday, 31 March 2008 3:12 AM
To: fredrick Toben
Subject: Fw: An Old Language Lesson - another lesson !

 

Thought you would find this informative, It's old, but maybe you haven't seen it yet..

 

 

English is a crazy language:

 

The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dumpster was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

He could lead if he could get the lead out

The soldier decided to desert has dessert in the desert.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to close the door.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with the planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind up the sail.

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

 

There is no egg in an eggplant,nor ham in a hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads,which aren't sweet, are meat.

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are squares and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. You park in the driveway but you drive on the parkway. You ship by truck and send cargo by ship. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

 

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house  can burn up as it burns down. In which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.  When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.  And finally, how about when you want to shut down your computer you have to hit "START !!"

 

Have a good day,  Amelia

 

 

 

----- Original Message -----

From: Adelaide Institute

To: 'Amy Aremia'

Sent: Saturday, March 29, 2008 4:29 PM

Subject: RE: An Old Language Lesson - don't let yourself be offended!

 

I was reluctant to send such a thing through the list but it does give one the opportunity to moralise on language use, as you have done.

As a former English teacher I always encountered boys who were word-lazy but swear-happy, and I let them do that but then discussed the broader issue of language use, etc.

 

Recently an elderly supporter, 80, in a discussion group with other ladies broached the matter of topics for conversation. She suggested that the three things that make up life – sex, religion and politics – should be canvassed. One 45-year-old felt uncomfortable about sex and she left the group. I asked her what she talked about when she raised the sex issue: I moralize! I liked that.

 

From: Amy Aremia [mailto:AAREMIA@nc.rr.com]
Sent: Sunday, 30 March 2008 5:00 AM
To: Adelaide Institute
Subject: Re: An Old Language Lesson - don't let yourself be offended!

 

Usage of  such a word only shows lack of vocabulary and lack of keen perception in the "educated adult."

 

Apa

----- Original Message -----

From: Adelaide Institute

To: Adelaide Institute

Sent: Friday, March 28, 2008 8:17 PM

Subject: An Old Language Lesson - don't let yourself be offended!