----- Original Message -----
Sent: Sunday, March 23, 2008 10:13 PM
Subject: First date nightmare
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting
down
when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story
ever,
first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the
cake.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing
first
date that a woman ever had.
The winner described her
worst first date experience. There was
absolutely no question as to
why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter... Snowing
and quite cold...and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains
outside Salt Lake City , Utah .
It was a day trip (no overnight).
They were strangers, after all, and
truly had never met
before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
were headed
home late that afternoon.
They were driving back
down the mountain, when she gradually began to
realize that she should
not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from
anywhere with a rest room and in
the middle of nowhere!
Her
companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a
while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going,
there came a
point where she told him that he had better stop and let
her go beside the
road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They
stopped and she
quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants
down and started.
In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she
let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her
companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think
about was
the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of
the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of
another
sensation.
As she bent to pull up her pants, the young
lady discovered her buttocks
were firmly glued against the car's
fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to
poles immediately came to mind
as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the
icy metal. It was
quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to
the extreme
cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the
moment, she
answered her date's concerns about 'what is taking so long'
with a reply
that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need
of some assistance!
He came around the car as she tried to cover
herself with her sweater and
then, as she looked imploringly into his
eyes, he burst out laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when they
finally managed to compose
themselves, they assessed her
dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also
were faced with a
real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot
to free her chilly
cheeks from the grip of the icy
metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in
the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to
get her free.
So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date
proceeded to unzip
his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the
audience screamed
in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands
down. Or perhaps that
should be 'pants down.' And you thought your
first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment... 'This gives a
whole new meaning to being pissed off.
Oh, and how did the first
date turn out? He became her husband and was
sitting next to her on
the Leno show.
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