Explains a lot but I kinda resent it.......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Understanding Engineers - One

 

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one

said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along

yesterday,minding my

own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the

ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes

probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."

 

Understanding Engineers - Two

 

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half

empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

 

Understanding Engineers - Three

 

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a

particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those

guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us?

They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen.

They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we

always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I

think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist

colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

 

Understanding Engineers - Four

 

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

 

Understanding Engineers - Five

 

The graduate with a science degree asks," Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

 

Understanding Engineers - Six

 

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have

designed the human body.

One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has

many thousands of electrical connections."

The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.

Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

 

Understanding Engineers - Seven

 

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers

believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

 

Understanding Engineers - Eight

 

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and

said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me I'll turn back into a

beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it

to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,

I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into

his

pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a

beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything

you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a

girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

 

 

 

 

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food

groups: Alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat."  Alex Levine

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Rebecca Fuller

RAF Models, Inc

336 722-4250